Left holding your breath yet losing it at the same time. Emotions can often be described as indescribable. It’s so heavy and extremely hard to bare. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Many questions formulate in your scattered brain & pain begins to set in, inside your soul.
People are forever changed. Loss for every person will be experienced differently. Though the world keeps moving, for those of us who’ve experienced such loss the world will NEVER move the same. We will move at our new found pace. Everything’s Different now. Sure we hear, “you can’t grieve forever” but who’s to say one can’t? The loss will forever be felt. How one handles their loss is unique and individualistic to that person.
How disrespectful of people to treat another’s loss as an inconvenience to them, as old news, or as a lightly felt occurrence in which exposes those of little compassion.
Conducting business as usual; that’s your prerogative, NOT MINE! Even if one has experienced loss of a loved one before. No one’s grief can be compared to the next.
Loss opens your eyes much wider and your heart much deeper than prior to. For me I’ve realized I didn’t have certain boundaries in place. I gave, gave, & gave of myself, time, energy, wisdom, advice, love, etc. so much so people felt it was ok to text me completely UNRELATED things during the first and second week of my grandmother’s passing, desiring my attention.
Am I NOT grieving? Am I not a human BEING not a human Doing? Contrary to what Kevin Gates said, “I do get tired.” I’m actually EXHAUSTED due to grief.
I would say I have ZERO tolerance but what even is Tolerance since my loss?
Once a loss becomes ancient for those who weren’t directly affected, those who were directly affected may begin to experience an absence of understanding, care, comfort, etc. from them.
In closing I want to encourage those who have experienced great loss of loved ones to take LITERALLY as much time as you need to grieve (2,4,10, 20 months/years etc), to heal, grieve again, heal again, Pray to God for peace & practice it by removing ALL things and PEOPLE who grieve your spirit further, deplete your time/energy, doesn’t love you whole heartedly, and are rarely there when you’re in need.
We ARE DIFFERENT now. That’s something we can’t change. We don’t have to explain our grief, our healing process, nor do we need permission to take a physical and/or mental break from things and/or PEOPLE. Some may want to continue life as usual and some of us may not, either way it’s Y(OUR) CHOICE and we’re here together to support one another.
Experiencing death of a loved one is a club no one wants to join but someday we’ll all experience. So, don’t say you understand because until you’ve lost, it’s IMPOSSIBLE for you to. Just show true GRACE, Compassion, & God’s love for those of us who have because we know the things we fixated on prior to this experience has little to no importance afterwards.
Every dog has it’s day. Just pray you have people in your corner to support you, give you space/time to grieve and heal on your own terms; without imposing their views of how long and what ways they think you should grieve and heal.
A good sister of mine poured into me by saying,
“I pray you’re as broken as you need to be in our Daddy’s arms. I know people will mean well when they tell y’all to “be strong” but no need, He’s strong enough.
One minute at a time. 🙏🏽”
40 years in God’s eyes isn’t actually 40 years but much less. Only MANkind is in a rush concerning everything. But I’m on God’s time and I’m allowed to take as long as I need. YOU DO THE SAME ❤️